


Birdbath.

by Apiaristic



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Davesprite doesn’t like baths until he has one, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, bathtime, cawkat, flufff, palemates, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23109640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apiaristic/pseuds/Apiaristic
Summary: Karkat decides that Davesprite stinks more than usual.
Relationships: Davesprite/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 6
Kudos: 84





	Birdbath.

One of the best things about that whole wild game being over and everyone being mostly not-dead, was being able to sit around and do NOTHING. Davesprite relished in it, sharing an apartment with Dave, Karkat, Rose, and Kanaya. He spent copious amounts of time sleeping, lounging, rolling around on the floor, watching TV, playing video games- It was great. No great terror to prepare to fight, except for Karkat in the morning, and occasionally Rose before her coffee, but otherwise, life was fucking  _ great. _

Rose, Kanaya, and Dave, now, all had jobs in the new troll-human society, Rose and Kanaya having opened a seamstress business and Dave doing shifts down at the local clubs as a DJ. Which, in turn, gave Karkat and Davesprite plenty of time to themselves.

They were close. Not  _ matesprit  _ close, but palemates, at least. On cold mornings, Karkat would make a pile out of pillows, blankets, and Davesprites downy tail and feathery wings, leaning back into the collar of soft fluff around his neck. 

The sprite liked that. Their closeness. He felt like he could  _ talk _ to Karkat, if he ever had anything he ever needed to talk about, and Karkat ranted to him oftentimes about shit he didn’t really care about, but found it in himself to give a shit about for at least the time that Karkat was talking to him.

One morning, though, when it was particularly stormy outside and grey light filtered in through the curtains while Karkat watched the morning kids cartoons, Karkat gave the sprite a strange look out of nowhere and stuffed his face into the down that trailed down his chest, and  _ sniffed. _

Which was- fucking weird. He shifted somewhat uncomfortably, an embarrassed flush of orange rising to his cheeks.

“Dude, what the fuck.” The entity questioned, raising an eyebrow as Karkat gave a disgusted look and sat back, away from Davesprite. Which was a first. 

“You smell like hoofbeast shit,” Karkat suddenly announced wrinkling his nose up. “I mean, like, the foulest, worst, dead-wriggler eating hoofbeast shit.”

“Your horses eat babies?”

“When was the last time you took a bath?”

Davesprite pauses. Looks to Karkat and then upwards, pursing his lips in thought. He shrugs. 

“Dunno. I’m a sprite. Who says sprites need baths?”

The troll, clearly disgusted, stands and points to the bathroom door, scowling.  “Bath time.”

A chirping laugh from Dave.  “Are you serious? No, man, I’ll like, drown.”

“Its three feet of water!

Davesprite frowns, his brow furrowing, and he takes. On a defensive posture, folding his arms. Feathers and down, in his experience, do  _ not _ feel nice when they’re wet. They get heavy and soggy, which should say something about the last time he’d bathed.

In the six months that they’d been here, he had not.

“I’m not taking a bath.” He quips with a dignified chirp, turning his nose up.

Out of nowhere, Karkat suddenly lunges for him, and Davesprite makes a mad dash like a spooked snake across the floor, squawking, hovering an inch above the ground. Karkat grabs a hold of the end of his down-covered sprite-tail, and tugs, making the orange-hued entity yelp.

“Not cool, man!” Davesprite caws, grabbing desperately at the carpet.

“You’re taking-“ Karkat grunts, surprisingly strong for a creature of his size, stands up and pulls Davesprite along the carpet by his tail while he flails, grabbing and dragging claw marks along the carpet and knocking vases off of tables with his wings. “A bath.”

“No, dude, I’m not.” The sprite hisses in retort, grabbing at the doorways that Karkat drags him through, leaving deep claw-marks in the wood. He fights as best he can, flailing and rolling, napping Karkat with his wings, but it's not until they get to the bathroom that Dave rears up and grabs the doorpost with one hand and hooks his tail around it, reefing it meanly from Karkat’s grip. The rough movement brings pained tears to his eyes, as Karkat shakes down from his palm and wraps his arms around Davesprites waist.

“Come-  _ on _ ,” Karkat snarls. “It won’t be that bad!”

“Oh my god,” The sprite heaves, grabbing Karkat’s  _ face and trying to push him away  _ as he desperately grabs at the doorframe. “Somebody help me, this moron is trying to drown me-“

“Shut the fuck up, you feathered fuckass, its just a  _ bath _ , stop being such a pussy.”

Davesprite squawks and yells, but with one mighty yank, Karkat dislodges him from his hold and shoves him into the bathroom while he scrambles to shut and lock the door. He knows Davesprite can’t undo the lock- His feathery brain can’t comprehend it, let alone can his clawed fingers twist deftly enough to get it undone.

With a sigh, Karkat pushes past the forlornly cawing bird—man that is sprawled on the ground, and reaches to turn the tap on.

Davesprite drags himself to the door and pitifully bats at the handle, crooning so sadly that Karkat  _ almost  _ feels bad. He tests the water with a hand. It's not hot, not cold, and not too full. Now to just get the damned bird into it.

Its surprisingly easy, actually. The sprite just goes dead limp in his arms, as if hoping that if he played deceased, Karkat will give in and leave him be.

Nope.

Karkat dumps his form into the water, and he springs back to life with a series of loud caws and other bird-noises. There’s water going everywhere, but Karkat still grabs onto him and forces him to stay  _ in _ , as much as he tries to climb out.

After a moment of frantic yelling and squeaking, though, Davesprite accepts his fate and lets himself relax into the water.  And hey, it's not so bad. He can mostly keep his wings out of the water, and its pretty comfortably warm in here. He chirrs, but glares at Karkat, who’s squeezing soap into his palms.

“Dude. I can fucking bath on my own.”

Karkat shoots him a look and takes to roughly lathering shampoo into his hair as the sprite grabs the edge of the bath for balance and closes his eyes behind his shades, which are still on.

“You stink. I can’t pale-cuddle with a stinky fucking palemate.” He grumbles, massaging his hands through Davesprites hair, which must feel nice, because he’s chittering softly as Karkat runs his fingers through his soft strands.

He works the shampoo down even into the fluff around his neck, and Davesprite chortles softly as he exposes his throat for him, clearly now having the time of his life. He pats at the surface of the water with his wings,  _ pap pap pap pap,  _ which slaps water up in every direction.

“Watch it.” Karkat mutters as he rinses Davesprites collar of down out. “You’re gonna get me-“

Lunging and wrapping his wet arms around Karkats’ waist, Davesprite pulls Karkat down into the bath with him, squawking with laugher as Karkat yells and flails, now soaked.

“ _ -Wet- _ Oh my  _ gog, _ you asshole!” He snarls over Davesprites guffaws and cackles, shaking out his wet arms. He can't  _ help _ but smile, though, seeing the sprite so happy, and settles for splashing water at his face. 

They go like that for an hour, Karkat, in his clothes, soaking wet, splashing and soaping up Davesprite, who croons and paps at the water as he lets Karkat wash him down.

By the time they get out, the bathroom looks like an aquatic warzone- not an inch of dry anything anywhere.

Karkat sheds his sweater and his jeans, but stays in his boxers as he ventures out for a towel and a hairdryer. Davesprite is a heavy, soggy  _ pile _ on the floor, chirping like a chick as he tries to wring out his soaking wings and tail.

It's not to any avail, though. Not until Karkat rubs his hair dry and turns on the blow dryer, which is so  _ warm _ and  _ nice _ that Davesprite repeatedly tries to snatch it from Karkat to hold to his chest. 

If he was a troll, or a cat, he'd be purring. But instead, Davesprite chirps and croons, making all sorts of soft bird noises in Karkat’s direction in between small talk as he dries him off.  By the time he  _ is _ dry, though, Karkat has to dig through soft, warm down to try and find the bottom half of Davesprites face. All of him bar his bare torso is about four times thicker and fluffier than it was before, and Karkat can’t help but laugh at how dumb he looks.

Cute, too, but mostly dumb.

Karkat carries Davesprite back to the lounge, because the bird protests that he’s too fluffy and still too heavy to get there himself, and dumps him on the couch. He smells like flowers and comfort, now, and Karkat can’t help but let Davesprite coil his tail around him and draw him close with the trolls face buried in his neck fluff.

“All that stress, and you ended up  _ enjoying _ it.” Karkat grumbles, muffledly, into Davesprites down. The sprite laughs and croons, hugging the other close. “I knew I was gonna enjoy it. I just wanted to make your life hard.”

_ “Dave fucking sprite-“ _


End file.
